Tao of the Jewish Buddha

“Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment 
will be the least of your problems.”
 

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Let your mind be as a floating cloud.
Let your stillness be as the wooded glen.
And sit up straight.
You’ll never meet the Buddha
with posture like that.
 
There is no escaping karma.
In a previous life, you never called,
you never wrote, you never visited.
And whose fault was that?
 
Wherever you go, there you are.
Your luggage is another story.
 
To practice Zen and the art
of Jewish motorcycle maintenance,
Do the following: get rid of the motorcycle.
What were you thinking?
 
Be aware of your body. Be aware of your perceptions.
Keep in mind that not every physical sensation
is a symptom of a terminal illness.
 
If there is no self, whose arthritis is this?
 
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Forget this and attaining Enlightenment
will be the least of your problems.
 
The Tao has no expectations.
The Tao demands nothing of others.
The Tao does not speak.
The Tao does not blame.
The Tao does not take sides.
The Tao is not Jewish.
 
Drink tea and nourish life.
With the first sip, joy.
With the second, satisfaction.
With the third, Danish.
 
The Buddha taught that one should
practice loving kindness to all sentient beings.
Still, would it kill you to find a nice sentient being
who happens to be Jewish?
 
Be patient and achieve all things.
Be impatient and achieve all things faster.
 
To Find the Buddha, look within.
Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.
Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.
Each blossom has ten thousand petals.
You might want to see a specialist.
 
Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?
 
Zen is not easy.
It takes effort to attain nothingness.
And then what do you have?
Bupkiss!
 
9-340-68.dalailaughing.m
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About Christopher Chase

Co-creator and Admin of the Facebook pages "Tao & Zen" "Art of Learning" & "Creative Systems Thinking." Majored in Studio Art at SUNY, Oneonta. Graduated in 1993 from the Child & Adolescent Development program at Stanford University's School of Education. Since 1994, have been teaching at Seinan Gakuin University, in Fukuoka, Japan.
This entry was posted in mystic view, nondual awareness, zen and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Tao of the Jewish Buddha

  1. Lou says:

    Too funny

  2. Pingback: Sunday Humor: Tao of the Jewish Buddha | Tales from the Conspiratum

  3. ram alapati says:

    Beautiful.

  4. Val Boyko says:

    Thanks for the chuckle. This is SO good Chris!

  5. Val Boyko says:

    Reblogged this on Find Your Middle Ground and commented:
    Enjoy this lighthearted post taken from Sayings of the Jewish Buddha. 💛Thanks to Chris at Creative by Nature.

  6. nrhatch says:

    I’m verklempt!

  7. This is so amazingly good! 🙂

  8. pivi63 says:

    Brilliant – reminded me of Woody Allen 🙂

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